Giving rise to emotional outbursts love marriage tend to express their feelings in a state of loving words. Commenting magic sentence “I love”, shall be provided to the other party a clear declaration: “I want to be yours.” Obtaining confirmation reciprocate feelings, receives them as a voluntary choice man loved by us that from now on he also wants to belong to us. We say: my wife, my husband, and later – my child. The adjective “my, my, my,” emphasizes the right of ownership.
At first it may seem, even fascinating. Here belong to someone who belongs to me. I’m not alone, I do not feel useless, I do not need to doubt their own attractiveness. By the fact that the selection was restored to value, I felt stronger, more interesting, maybe even smarter. The stronger the emotional involvement, including that sense of belonging is more triumphantly. “My! you’re just my “! – Make clear at the time when the rapture itself more than the beloved, love the man, as if not believing that this wonderful person is him completely and voluntarily submitted by virtue cherished love toward him. And it is natural, almost filling both sides of the feeling of happiness.
The problem starts when the conviction of belonging together is transformed into a sense of exclusive ownership. “My, my, my mean the statement,” You are my property, “and legalize love relationship makes this formality official deed.
If the confession: “I love you” can be likened to a magic formula sesame opening the door to draw from it the treasures of emotions, goodness and opportunities for personal development, it now becomes a chain of paralyzing the victim to make it obedient to the contractor of his will. Love justify tyranny – I love you, so you need to, I love you, then you have that … Love becomes a cage, in which one becomes a slave of another. One side is trying to educate other, customize to your liking, to impose their own beliefs. It’s a kind of rehabilitation.
But love is an act of conscious, voluntary choice. If one party is trying to dominate it, to impose their point of view, the feeling that cemented the relationship dies. Do not do anything without my knowledge, only bother what I think is right – it is only a partial picture of the person who is considered to be the owner.
The couple put such pressure, even if you agree to this state of affairs for various reasons – out of fear or for peace, you may feel tired exists. Usually subordinated spouse seeking help. He argues that such a system lies in the necessity. Feelings have long been forgotten in this case. During such situations, it often happens that the spouses have not even like each other, and even hate. Lack of mutual understanding and respect is a typical symptom of such toxic compounds.
But on closer examination it turns out, the attitude of the life of such people is stiff. It is characterized by one-sidedness in the vicinity of views presented. Such people do not trust even the closest, and their relationship to the world is fault-finding and unfriendly. And this is the reason they need to continuously monitor not only in private life, but also in the workplace.